The Trick to Falling Apart (Like a Pro)

Both/And is one of my favorite concepts as a coach.

I can be delivering at a ridiculously high level and falling apart on the same day. The trick? Fall apart in the right places.

I think this is why I connect so well with my clients. I see that genius thing inside them, and at the same time, I see and honor where they are in space and time.

We are mothers. We are BUSY. We are managing a zillion things. We don’t have enough staff. We have challenging clients. Our partners really need therapy. Our hair is falling out. Sex isn’t fun right now. We have a weird rash. We are exhausted from marketing and wondering if there’s another way.

(There is.)

Last year, when a few of my closest relationships crumbled, I got a gift wrapped in heartbreak. I saw exactly where I was getting fed and where I was just… conversationally knitting. You know—talking in circles, feeling heard, but not actually shifting.

That’s the thing. When you take a problem to someone who meets you at your level, you’ll feel understood. But you won’t up-level. You’ll stay exactly where you are.

You can’t change the people around you. But you can change… the people around you.

Discernment is a superpower. And like all the best superpowers, it’s initially built under duress. Here I think it’s about having a problem that feels painful, challenging and entirely my own. And yet knowing someone else will understand this and help me move the needle in a new way. A way that heals and empowers me.

When I lost relationships, I was gifted the opportunity to refine my care team.

Refining your care team is a game-changer.
It brings on this ‘once impossible, now easy’ vibe.

✔ Releasing a familiar pattern like owning everything and never asking for help
✔ Having curiosity rather than fear about how to market in this crazy time
✔ Getting deeper support for the wisps of dreams you want to bring to life, such as writing a book, franchising your work, or getting fully out of your 9-5

I love Jack Gilbert’s words (via Liz Gilbert):
Do you have the courage to bring forth this work?
The treasures that are hidden inside you are hoping you will say yes.

So… will you?

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