After experiencing sea changes in some of my friendships, I crafted a fresh template. What happened after that was bananas. Friendships strengthened, eased, appeared, sweetened. Friends inspired me, championed me, offered me totally new worlds to play in.

Over the past couple of years a few friendships I have long loved cracked apart. I was confused, and of course hurt. But also honestly kind of curious. My daughters both think I am a master at friendships. Recently they talked about it, like how does she do that?
I have friends from every time period in my life. From a close tie with someone I met in first grad, to a new deep connection with a person I met last month. Friendships are easy for me. Nourishing them is natural.

But as with everything in life, there are lessons to be learned. Having friendships get rocky and even fail was an invitation. After experiencing the upheavals in those super intimate friendships I took stock. What was beyond the hurt?

I wrote a simple, fresh template describing what I want in friendships. Honestly I wrote it in a bit of a reactive mood. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want. It had only four points.

What happened after I wrote it out was nothing short of miraculous and I am reveling in it.

Reworking friendships is the easiest manifestation project I’ve ever done.

Recently in a lecture I heard a master teacher say, If it’s uncomfortable, the opposite is true.

We are meant to find self love in disempowering experiences.

And this is far from easy. Because disempowering experiences are dense and triggering. There are fine lines to them, and there is nuance.

Another of my favorite teachers says our ‘real’ emotions are far deeper than what we consider feelings.

To test her theory, take a moment right now and roll your eyes up. Notice what happens in your body. You’re connecting with REAL feelings. I know, right? You thought you were worried, anxious, distracted… but actually, you’re calm.

Self love is a lifelong journey because it is what we are here to do – to move beyond experiences of separation into deeper oneness. It is a rich fun game we get to play in our friendships, relationships, and with our work, our creativity, our sexuality, our money.

I think it takes discernment. Discerning who and what to listen to, and when and for what purpose. Discernment about what is resistance and what is an invitation. It’s a co-creative journey, and I invite you to make sure you have places where your darkness can be seen, heard, held and most importantly–dissolved so you can bring in more light.

I want to hear what is coming up for you. Let’s chat over a virtual coffee.
Guiding creatives in personal evolution is my jam.